Taking Baby Steps...

"BABY STEPS" Original Picture of my Godson taken by his mommy Trisha Sides, and then photoshopped with one of my pictures and various and sundry other things. (Yes added later so I'd have a good picture for this post)


I have ventured out into the realm of Word Catchers and decided to try and contribute something to the group. It's kind of quiet, but I want to help out as much as I can while still working toward my goal to get published. Still we are in that dance where one side doesn't know the other, so not sure if I can break out into the "Chicken Dance" and not scare them away yet... ROFL Although I've shared bits and pieces of me already and I'm not sure if it's too much too fast, but hey I have restrained myself... I could have written a thousand words more by now. Q_o

Nonetheless, I read a quite cute/heartwarming story by Dev/Jenny of the Pink Hair =^_^= and threw in my two cents (as TV Dinners are not in my freezer... ROFL) Hopefully I've inspired her and given a couple good suggestions that will help her. I really like the story and it has me in the mood for the holiday season already. There is an magazine called "The First Line Literary Journal" where they give you the first sentence for a story and then you have to write something between 300 and 3000 words and submit it. Of course the ones they like best, get into the magazine. (For those of you who want to play the website is: http://www.thefirstline.com/ ) Someone also put up a "Happiness is a Warm Puppy" section which of course necessitated my posting this picture of Awen on it. *I am not in control of myself when it comes to her and her powers of cutetinization* They may run screaming from me yet...







Anyhoodles, on the writing front, I've typed 1,007 words today on a short story inspired by the Muse to write on the sentence from above as it's good practice. Also I've about finished my autobiographical letter I'm suppose to be sending as PART 1A of my ICL Lesson, as well as the rough draft of PART 2B. I hope to send it in within the next few days which will be ahead of schedule and would be rare as I also have the super powers of procrastination. I'd make myself a superhero costume BUT, I'm putting if off until tomorrow... or the next day...

Poem I Wrote Today for Trisha

Where? Why? When?

Where have all my words gone?
Where is the Muse once bleeding inside?
I am so empty -
like a desert without its sand.
Now, when I need her poignant voice,
silent cacophony is her choice.
Where have all my words gone?

Why isn't my Muse wailing?
Why do dirges I should be feeling, hide?
I am so numb -
like death's frozen kiss, cold and bland.
How, when I need to scream and shout
there is nothing here inside but drought?
Why isn't my Muse wailing?

Somewhere deep inside,
she waits within Winter's room -
held tight within fates future loom -
until Spring's thaw gives brilliant bloom,
when love reunites the bride and groom...
Somewhere with the Goddess at her side.

When will the Muse's words return?
When can her voice release my pain?
I am here waiting -
a pregnant promise held in hand.
A cathartic vow revealing,
repayment of her voice and healing.
The Muse's words will soon return.


Picture Photoshopped and Poem by AEB for TUS 10/24/07

Once Upon a Time...

(Picture is "Fairy Tales" by Kei Acedera & Bobby Chiu - Http://www.imaginismstudios.com)

Today has been a good day for writing and getting ready for Nanowrimo. The Muse began whispering in the wee hours of the morning about which story idea to go the 50,000 words or more on for November. Yes, complete with phrases that I just had to go get down on the computer before I lost them and risked getting one of those MOMS (mother of all migraines) Since find the Sam-e stuff, I've managed to keep from having any migraines for over a month. I kinda wanted to keep it that way. Plus it's never a good idea to tick off the Muse... =O_o=


So I blew the dust off of the idea for DID, Inc., and looked up a couple other things. I'm going to bounce some things off of Phil and get some input from Erin perhaps if I can find her online and keep her there... and perhaps do a little more research before the November kick off begins. I'm really, really jazzed about Nanowrimo this year.

Since I figured out what I was gonna write on (or listened to what the Muse said - take your pick) I decided I should update my Nanowrimo self. I also signed up for Twitter, because Dev/Jenny is gonna be sending out writing texts to those of us playing this year. (Thanks for doing all that work mam!) I even bestirred myself to write a quote and borrow one from Mark Twain to put on my signature/handle.

My first assignments (part A and B of #1) were calling to me. Since I was in a make up your mind kinda mood, I decided which picture to use for part B. Part A is writing a nice little autobiographical letter about yourself so that mentor Constance knows something about who she's getting things and stuff from. Her letter was most amusing and made me feel like I was a special student sipping tea with her in her homey office. So I sketched out some of my own and I will work on revising it tomorrow. Another amusing "coincidence" about this, is the fact the first assignment is due November 27th. 27 is one of those special numbers for me. Plus 11/27 is my anniversary of the day I married my best friend and beloved groom. You know the guy who is moving and shaking to help me grab hold of this writing dream =^_^=. (the same guy who said I do to a scroll or two's worth of addendums, quid pro quos and silly ideas because he was so besotted he was agreeing to anything. hahaha got ya sweetie)

For part B, I had 3 pictures to choose from. Some cute bathroom bears, a barn scene with kids running to dad and a couple of serious teenagers in front of a bus on a very wet and rainy day. Yesterday the Muse was like oooooooOOOOoooo I can write something for all of them. Today I compromised with her. So I picked the last one because it was whispering dialogue the loudest. (Plus that whole barn scene reminded me of... Kansas AHhhhhhhhhh ROFL) So off we went. I have to do 500 to 750 words which is like nothing for me. Tomorrow will be the cutting and pruning and blossoming of the whole enchilada. I then told the Muse that if she wanted, we'd see about doing one of the other pictures and maybe driving the instructor crazy by submitting both of them. (I can't help it the bathtub bears are sooooooooo cute)

So a good day for musing, writing and getting in shape all around. Time now to go watch "Reaper" because well, it's quirky and amusing and thinks outside of the box.

In a galaxy far, far away... (well if I'm going to do Once upon a time, I just have to have that in here too. ROFL)

Another Bonus in the Right Direction

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who loved to write.

Without going into all the dreary gut-wrenching details, this little girl (who is still very much inside me) didn't have a happy childhood. It happens. There are gems to be found among the ashes and tears - that silver lining in a rainy cloud if you will. Not the least of these is the fact that due to all the bad spots, I became an avid reader at an early age. By the time I was in third grade, I was steadily consuming books - most of which were written for adults.

However, my mother did not encourage my writing. From the time I was seven (and created my first story) and for many times since then, she mocked me - sad for a mother and an avid reader. I'm not asking for pity or going on a crusade to out the psychological physical and mental scars of my childhood. Nonetheless, there IS a reason I am writing about this at all.

When you are told and have had it literally beaten into you repeatedly by someone you love so very much, that you will never amount to anything, be a failure, and that your writing will never be good enough to be published or acknowledged by that same someone, the scar becomes more of a mental curse. Yes, us writers, or any of us who have a creative need to express ourselves, are often insecure and can't see the value in our work. Yet I know that this is the fundamental reason that holds me back from completing anything and submitting it.

In my mind, I am cursed.

After a lot of soul searching and asking for guidance from above, I have admitted that this is probably the biggest block to my success. Yes, I have amounted to something, I am successful in many ways and I never let it hold me back from raising a wonderful family. But the one dream I hold secretly very dear to my soul, is chained in by the power of this mental curse.

So, if anyone is reading this, you may be asking yourselves - okay so what is special about today? Well besides the fact that I'm working hard to overcome this by taking baby cuts at the corrosive chain holding it firmly to me = something festive happened today.

Phil, who is giving his all to help me attain my dream, enrolled me last week in the Institute for Children's Literature program. The first course materials were not scheduled to even get to me until October 30th or later. But, they arrived today. Only a couple days since he signed me up.

What makes today so significant?



Today is my mother's birthday.

I'm one of those people who doesn't believe too firmly that things which happen are merely coincidence. Somewhere deep inside my soul, where the chain hasn't eaten away at that little girl who lives to write, whispers words of hope. I think the powers that be are telling me I'm on the right path. This is a sign that I have been given a key to begin to unlock and unravel the curse chained to me.

Foolish? Possibly but I don't think so. If I can find hope and strength from a simple sign or coincidence, then does it really matter? The little girl is not as scared as she was to write, enjoy the writing and to succeed.

Now in this time, there is a little girl who loves to write...



Hello, my name is Anne/Danni and I am a writer.

Happy Surprise

Today I've moved one step closer to making my life all about writing (cause you know that is my dream - writing.)

If I can make a few extra dollars so be it, but I have to write. It's like breathing air or paying taxes - it's who I am. The joy comes from the act and the creations of me and my Muse in concert. Phil is giving me my chance at having my dream. When I moved here he told me that now it was my time to reach and shine as I'd helped so many others. (I've been a Legal Secretary/Paralegal/Office Manager for almost 20 years.) Plus, I'd only found smidgens of time to write because Phil was on the road a lot and I had two lovely girls to raise while working full time. So yeah, I want to give it the best shot I can and make the most of this golden opportunity. I would also like to return the favor and entertain at least one other person with my words. Because then I'll have the second most important part to my dream job. It's only right as I have been entertained by thousands of books myself.

Yes, I want to be published. However, the most important thing is to get to write.

So, what did I do today that was a big step forward? I gathered up my courage and sought out a new group of writing peeps here in Memphis. Now this may seem like nothing to some or just a logical move by others. However, I was kind of gun shy to enmesh myself into the framework of another group for fear of getting - well getting burned. While in Topeka, I started 3 or 4 years ago by joining a local writing group. It was a great decision and I don't regret it - I was moving with baby steps into the right direction. However, there was a bit of a power play going on in the group. I gave it my all, as I do for any group of people and worked hard to try to make the group all that it could be for everyone.

There's that law that says in every group, there are those who work consistently, and those that watch them. So being me, I volunteered for anything and everything. And I'd do it again. It's just that the idea of a writing group is not only for education, it's for networking and helping each other out. Sadly we had people who were "the published," some of who seemed to only be in the group in order to look down on others. So anything they wanted was glorified and many good suggestions by those who worked hard, went unheeded. This is a group which charges for its membership, and yet the website is a joke. Lucky if it gets updated every six months.

Plus, if you weren't in the inner circle, you were kind of used like a work horse but never appreciated.

Keep in mind, there were gems in this group. People who I respected and who care. I've made some treasured friends. It just got kinda old. Not just for me but I empathized with others (probably more than myself) However, I wish them the best and I hope they can flourish and move away from the rut they've gotten themselves into. After all it got me moving in the right direction.

I have friends who don't seem to really want to understand this about me - that I hope the group moves on and inspires and that I'm not holding a grudge, just it got old for me. It's funny how even though they are suppose to know me, they think I'm going to be upset if they move on up in the group. Or, that they can't even mention the group and anything its doing.

Yeah, so after all that mentioned above, now for the good stuff:

The Word Catchers bunch were a welcoming and refreshing change. No fees, no overt politics - just a bunch of people who support each other and who welcomed Phil and I to the meeting with open arms. You go to the website and it's not only updated regularly - there's an active forum for the members. People can upload their works in progress and others happily help them out and give them their uptake/critiques without ripping into them. (The other group only critiqued once a year.) These are people who bond together for NANOWRIMO and make it festive whether you have joined their group or not. (Nanowrimo was barely mentioned and often sneered about in the previous group)

The WC peeps (some of whom are published or own their own little publishing companies) even interact on a whole other level, sharing interesting tidbits and facets of their lives which aren't writing. The upshot is I'm jazzed about writing. I'm feeling like I'm going to get somewhere. I'm feeling like I have that support all of us creative insecure artists need in order to put their best fingers forward each and every day.

Dr. Suess said: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." With Word Catchers I feel like I can truly fit in. With support like this, it means I've help to make it across the brambles and pitfalls that sometimes appear on the path to your dreams.

WHOOOOOOOOOT!

A Place To Catch Some Fresh Words

Today was a great day and a step forward for me as far as the world of writing goes. Phil went with me to the Word Catchers Writers meeting and it was WONDERFUL. A room full of people who are cheering each other on, passing along helpful hints and a website which updates daily and has a chat forum. After the whole KWI thing, where you pay money and the website is updated maybe every six months etc. and it seems to be everyone for themselves, this was beyond refreshing.

The website, which includes the power to post your writings for helpful critiques if you are part of the group is: http://www.wordcatchers.org/

The welcomed us with open arms and today's speaker was Alethea Kontis who has a couple children's picture books, a bunch of editorials, co-editing credits, a small horror/dark fantasy publishing house and the Sherrilyn Kenyon Dark-Hunter Companion book.


I am inspired and amused and ready for NANOWRIMO. I will start posting how many words I've written NANOWRIMO and otherwise and what's been going on with me and the words each day. (or at least I'll try to.) It's so awesome when you can find a great bunch of people who all support each other and want each other to succeed instead of all the power play/back biting that I've had to deal with before. WHOOOOOOOOOT!

A place to chart my words

Since LJ is having conflicts with my trying to have 2 journals there, I've decided to try elsewhere for now. The goal is to be able to chart my progress through blogging and keep a journal of what is working for me and consequently is not working for me. So it's a journal of words on the ups and downs of writing... words and stories and such.

Today, I came up with yet another idea for a cool story. This one would be a Fangs and Fur and Fey paranormal offering, with a very quirky twist (or at least quirky in my eyes). The only problem with this, is that I have a habit of creating new things all the time. I've hundreds of ideas and I fall in love with the story I come up with, only to become under the influence of another when a new day shows up. I am getting better about writing on stories I've started and yes I do have things finished although most of them are first drafts. The good news is I'm taking a course (knowledge is power) which will not only hone my skills (at least as far as children's and YA which will in turn work for everything else in the long run) but it will give me the guided discipline to be able to turn a love for writing into my dream job. (for almost 18 years I played as a Legal Secretary/Paralegal/Office Manager working for other people to make their dreams a reality. Thank goodness for Phil who has decided it's my turn to have a shot at my dream)

Here's to the seeds that are dreams planted lovingly in the fertile soil of my soul, that they become the beautiful flowers of reality! (Oh the Muse wants to be poetical today... =^_^= Wheeeee!)